why doesn’t someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it’s toasting
I swear, if tumblr wasn’t full of lazy people, then the world would be a better place
(via 0riginal)
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
(via ocean-caught-in-a-storm)
